Jessica and I are like an old married couple on vacation. Why you may ask—its Friday at noon. We are in a tropical country. Its monsoon-ing. We swam all morning, both took showers. Now we are lying on our separate beds in bath robes sipping water and coke lights because that’s what one does on vacation. Now tell me that sounds like an old married couple to you too.
Ok so since Thursday night, I have been MIA and I wanted to say that not much tangible has happened, but I guess that is never true when I am writing.
Lauren was victim eight (but I swear its okay now cuz she’s siting on my hotel room floor singing and swearing at her computer and laughing and dancing in her own little world and I’m just reveling in her general glory and splendor). She was sick all Thursday night and ended up going to international SOS hospital because of dehydration Friday morning. When I saw her, she looked ghostly pale and just all together a hot mess. After IV, butt injection of anti-nausea medicine, and Tylenol, she was back at the hotel sleeping—a state of unconsciousness she was in for over fifteen hours.
Which means the two gingers are the last two standing of the ten of us. Although Kiel looked a little pasty, even for a ginger yesterday. Jessica walks out of her shower Friday morning and goes, “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but gingers must be genetically superior.” I think Kiel is falling ill too, so maybe Jessica’s six month stint in Egypt prepared her for this. Niro (Niroshika), our “Sri Lankan beauty”, still claims she’s only a half victim since she seems to have contracted something different. We no longer believe any of us had food poisoning from the hotel because four of the girls got sick when we were on our two day trek. Really it must be a compilation of: the worlds most chaotic roads in an essentially air-less mini bus with nine other girls, exhaustion, exotic foods that are sometimes questionably prepared, jetlag, and maybe a bug— that have thrown us all for a loop. Even Kru Kosal was feeling a little under the weather upon our return to Phnom Penh Thursday. Poor guy. I think if I took ten girls to my home country and they were all puking their guts up, I too would be exhausted, overwhelmed, and need a break. Really. TEN GIRLS. Some of the girls only really have Europe under their belt in terms of travel experience, so had little clue what they were in for. Kru got h is break though, as he went to see his Papa last night and remained there for the duration of the evening. Which was semi-disastrous for us because…. Well just read on.
But first a random interjection—Now that I am better, I am willing to divulge the full extent of my illness (although I am still yet to eat more than a jar of baby food and bread. Literal baby steps). When we stayed at that sketchy hotel when I had the psychotic fever, well the next morning Jessica physically showered me because I was just so frazzled and weak in the morning. BUT like I said, I am fully restored in my energy and my life. Although because of so many things, I only get three hours of sleep last night (Friday night, its now Saturday). I awoke to the lovely amazing-ness of Christina this morning and all her love and glory over an email I sent her at three in the morning I think.
But lets back track. Why did we so desperately need Kosal last night?
Alexis got robbed.
And no matter how great and entertaining I think my recap of this trip are, I avoid writing about Alexis because words cannot do this girl justice. In the most loving way, she is the single person in my entire life that I genuinely believe is ADHD through and through. When she only takes one Adderal, instead of her prescribed two, oh my GOODNESS can you tell. She is just nuuuuuuuuuts. So her getting her entire purse robbed last night was just not a good thing. But she just has the best soul, so I have written up some of the things she said last night. Paint the scene: I am safety pinned into my mosquito netted bed, we thought all the girls had left our room for good, but Alexis had apparently just gone to the hotel bar for another glass of wine. And because its Alexis, that journey fifteen feet away took over an hour. So, here Jess and I are almost passed out, and Alexis comes trouncing back in to just keep spilling her heart for how sad she is that they didn’t just ask her for her bag, which she would have gladly handed over. She would have gladly given them all her clothes and her whole suitcase and worn her filthy same outfit home. She is that person on mega much-needed ADHD drugs. So hopefully this helps you understand our platinum blonde “twizzler, fruit loop” as she calls herself.
“They can have my F***ing ipod, and camera. And clothes and wallet. I don’t care. But they took the three most f***ing important things to me. THEY TOOK MY F***ING FACE SPRITZTER, MY HAND SANITIZER, AND FAN. They can have everything but they took my 98% Deet and I’ve just been so cautious about bugs and now the mosquitoes are going to eat me alive….”
“Keep your eyes out for leashes. I am attaching one to me and giving Kosal the other end. That way when I get kidnapped they get an extra little present.”
That is Alexis. She wears bright pink and yellow with bleached hair. And she learned her lesson. She is now wearing a scarf around her hair and logn sleeves to hide her pale skin. “I look like I have f***ing cancer. But at least I’m not a target anymore!!” She’s amazing. This girl gives a running commentary of her entire thoughts. There is absolutely zero filter. ZERO. She was telling us how a Cambodian boy was blushing but you cant tell because of his skin color, where as she is always red as an “apple”. Not tomato. And to Alexis, there is nothing wrong. Because she her judgments are not restrained from anyone and they are never meant in a harmful way, they are her mere observations of the world. She is indescribable.
What else happened yesterday? Kozy (he loves when I call him this) gave us the day off basically. Basically the entire weekend. So we swam most of the morning while Lauren tried to convince the hospital she didn’t have swine flu. Jessica, Kiel and I tried to teach our Sri Lankan beauty to swim. We are getting there.
I’m sorry I have no exciting pictures currently. I put them all on facebook. Although, honestly, I use Lauren’s amazing camera at all times. I wish you could merge facebook accounts so you could see pictures without me having to pirate hers. Or something. Friend her. She’s another version of me. Lauren Adele Dawson. MOM: Did I mention she’s ANOTHER TEXAN. AND SO IS MY ROOMMATE. THERE ARE THREE OF THEM ON THIS TRIP. I just cannot get away from Texas. It wants me. So much. Texas literally is stalking me.
Ok. So. I really think I hit the highlights that I am willing to divulge currently. I have my secrets over here too. Maybe just keep reading, maybe I’ll tell. I’m in Looooooooove. Keep reading. I’m so cryptic.
Mommy, Daddy, maybe I’ll come home with a small Cambodian child. OK, kidding. LETS REALLY GET ONE and I don’t mean that to sound like a five year old wanting a puppy for Tiffmas. But. I told Christina this morning in the pool that really and truly I am going to end up with seven children, like Angelina. And Fin is going to be my Cambodian child. I think about him a lot now. He’s just the greatest.
OK. Going to the Russian market. Making a few investments. Maybe selling my liver or something. I think maybe if I remove my entrails that I may feel 100% better. Thoughts on this?
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